03-25-2006, 07:00 AM
She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates,
and suitcases.
On the second day, she had the movers come and collect
her things.
On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful
dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music,
and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of
chardonnay.
When she had finished, she went into each and every room and stuffed
half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of all of
the curtain rods.
She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for
the first few days. Then, slowly, the house began to smell. They
tried everything:
cleaning, mopping, and airing the place out. Vents were checked for
dead rodents, carpets were steam cleaned, and air fresheners were
hung everywhere!
Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which
they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to
replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked. People stopped
coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The
maid quit. Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and
decided to move.
A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they
could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and,
eventually, even the local realtors refused to return their calls.
Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to
purchase a new place.
The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told
her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said
that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce
her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.
Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a
price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but
only if she were to sign the papers that very day.
She agreed, and, within the hour, his lawyers delivered the
paperwork. A week later, the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as
they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new
home, including the curtain rods.
I just love a happy ending, don't you?
and suitcases.
On the second day, she had the movers come and collect
her things.
On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful
dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music,
and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of
chardonnay.
When she had finished, she went into each and every room and stuffed
half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of all of
the curtain rods.
She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for
the first few days. Then, slowly, the house began to smell. They
tried everything:
cleaning, mopping, and airing the place out. Vents were checked for
dead rodents, carpets were steam cleaned, and air fresheners were
hung everywhere!
Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which
they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to
replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked. People stopped
coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The
maid quit. Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and
decided to move.
A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they
could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and,
eventually, even the local realtors refused to return their calls.
Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to
purchase a new place.
The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told
her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said
that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce
her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.
Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a
price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but
only if she were to sign the papers that very day.
She agreed, and, within the hour, his lawyers delivered the
paperwork. A week later, the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as
they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new
home, including the curtain rods.
I just love a happy ending, don't you?