03-13-2006, 05:42 PM
Bubba arrived at his Internal Revenue Service audit accompanied by another man. The IRS agent assumed the other man was Bubba's Attorney.
Going over his records, the IRS official said, "Well, sir, it appears that you live at a much higher level than your reported employment income. How do you explain that?"
Bubba replied, "I love to gamble and I usually win."
The skeptical official gave him a disbelieving look.
"I can prove it," said Bubba. "How about a demonstration?"
The official thought a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead."
Bubba said, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye."
The official thought a moment and said, "No way! It's a bet!"
Bubba removed his glass eye and bit it.
The official's jaw dropped. Bubba said, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye."
The official could tell Bubba wasn't blind, so he took the bet.
Bubba then removed his dentures and used them to bite his good eye.
The stunned official was now three grand in the hole!
"Want to go double or nothing?" Bubba asked. "I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on your desk and urinate into that wastebasket by the door over there and never get a drop anywhere in between."
The official, twice burned, was cautious now, but there's no way this guy could manage that stunt, so he agreed again!
Bubba climbed up on the official's desk, missed the wastebasket completely, and pretty much wet all over the desk.
The official grinned. He had just turned a huge loss into a huge win!
But then he noticed that Bubba's friend looked upset and was visibly shaking.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
The man replied, "Not really. Before we arrived, Bubba bet me twenty thousand dollars he'd urinate on your desk and you'd be happy about it!"
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