04-30-2007, 01:41 AM
From my nephew's vault of funnies:
> Gates vs. GM
>
> For all of us who feel only the deepest love and
> affection for the way computers have enhanced our
> lives, read on.
>
> At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates
> reportedly compared the computer industry with the
> auto industry and stated,
>
> "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer
> industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that
> got 1,000 miles to the gallon."
>
> In response to Bill's comment, General Motors issued
> a press release stating:
>
> If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we
> would all be driving cars with the following
> characteristics (and I just love this part):
>
> 1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would
> crash........
> Twice a day.
>
> 2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road,
> you would have to buy a new car.
>
> 3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for
> no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the
> road, close all of the windows, shut off the car,
> restart it, and reopen the windows before you could
> continue. For some reason you would simply accept
> this.
>
> 4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left
> turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to
> restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the
> engine.
>
> 5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the
> sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as
> easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of
> the roads.
>
> 6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning
> lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has
> Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.
>
> I love the next one!!!
>
> 7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before
> deploying.
>
> 8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car
> would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you
> simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key
> and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
>
> 9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers
> would have to learn how to drive all over again
> because none of the controls would operate in the same
> manner as the old car.
>
> 10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the
> engine off.
Number five is brutal!
