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TulipTools Internet Business Owners and Online Sellers Community › Bottom of the Board › Bottom of the Board Completely Off Topic › Bad Jokes Atrium v
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Friars and Cats

  
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Friars and Cats
03-22-2006, 06:01 PM,
Post: #1
sneakymagenta Offline
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Friars and Cats
A group of friars lived in a monastery. As with many monasteries, the friars found it necessary to run a small business to support themselves. They ran a floral shop. One day one of the friars brought in an exquisite find: a Venus fly trap. It was such a cute thing, they couldn't bear to sell it, so they just kept it on display. But after a while, it grew so big that flies were no longer enough to satisfy it. It ate cockroaches, but it kept growing. It ate mice, but it still kept growing. It ate chipmunks, squirrels, cats, then raccoons and dogs and ponies. Finally the villagers got wise to this and attempted to put a stop to it. But try as they might, no one could. One way or another, the friars outsmarted the townsfolk and raided their farms of large animals. Finally the villagers pooled their money and hired a professional named Hugh to come in and capture the friars. Hugh stormed the monastery, destroyed the fly trap, captured the friars, and turned them over to the police. The moral of this story is: Only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

:asshat2:

Why was the cat afraid of the tree?
Because of its bark.

:asshat2:

Why did the bear run around his bed?
He wanted to catch up on his sleep.

:asshat2:

Why didn't the leopard go on vacation?
It couldn't find the right spot.

:asshat2:

What has more lives than a cat?
A frog -- it croaks every night

:asshat2:

OAI Moron Hall of Fame
<i>sell-thru is an irrelevant and illogical consideration.</i>
-KaRay, owner of WP giving selling advice, 2006

<i>the site was 'NOT' hacked but the little script that had recipes on had the link altered</i>
-Plunderhere Owner Mark Taylor after his site was hacked by a Chinese hacker gang, 2008

Some people have it like that, others don’t. I do.
-Probidscripts owner Spencer Osama Binweb Laden Ray bragging about his ability to scam the OAI without feeling any guilt, 2008.

How does an auction site get buyers?
-question asked at PSU by owner of auction site BidBeaver.ca, 2008

How do I get sales?
-question asked at PSU by online store owner, 2009.

I was told by my Tech. Support that my site dont really need SSL.. his servers
are well protected and that info your providing to join aint really top secret information

-owner of auction site TheTraderOutlet.com discussig his site's lack of basic security, 2009
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03-22-2006, 06:24 PM,
Post: #2
stardust Offline
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Re: Friars and Cats
Groannnnnnnnn.........Gosh, that hurts.  I can't wash my ears out fast enough!    Puke
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03-22-2006, 06:47 PM,
Post: #3
bargainbloodhound Offline
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Re: Friars and Cats
Quote:Only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

:Smile
"Well, Jay was so giddy that someone named Jay was involved with this site we posted our first non-eBay listing in 3 years here at Lunarbid (we tried two items at Yahoo once upon a time, they bombed)" -Marie posting in a LunarBid thread at OTWA in 2005 wins the award for 'most moronic reason ever given for choosing a venue"

"thanks twat u must have nothing better 2 do. do u talk to all your members like that. will not be recomending your site.
best way to put it is TULIPTOOLS.COM IS REALLY SHIT. DONT JOIN." -pubescent owner of rinky dink off2auction.com in 2011
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03-22-2006, 11:27 PM,
Post: #4
kim Offline
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Re: Friars and Cats
2 :poopbanaana:  :poopbanaana: (on a scale of  1-10)
:animal020: Cowcheer Gen038 Cowcheer :animal020:
Website
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03-23-2006, 07:47 PM,
Post: #5
jezebel Offline
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Re: Friars and Cats
[quote author=kim link=topic=3116.msg11264#msg11264 date=1143070050]
2 :poopbanaana:  :poopbanaana: (on a scale of  1-10)
[/quote]

on a scale of 1-10 I give them a SUCKS!  Happy3
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