Think Before You Speak...........

[BellisimaJ.]

Sent to me by a male(naturally) friend today:

Think before you speak....
>>
>>
>>
>>  Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak -
>>  the last one is great!
>>  Have you ever spoken and wished that you could
>>  immediately take the words back...
>>  or that you could crawl into a hole?
>>  Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did..
>>
>>
>>  FIRST TESTIMONY:
>>  I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow
>>  and asked loudly,
>>  "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?"
>>  I turned around and walked back out and never went back
>>  My husband didn't say a word...
>>  he knew better.
>>
>>
>>  SECOND TESTIMONY:
>>  I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls .
>>  I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.
>>  After browsing for several minutes,
>>  I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the
>>  store.
>>  He asked if he could help me.
>>  Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with
>>  men's balls"
>>
>>  THIRD TESTIMONY:
>>  My sister and I were at the mall and
>>  passed by a store that sold a
>>  variety of candy and nuts.
>>  As we were looking at the display case,
>>  the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.
>>  I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts."
>>  My sister started to laugh hysterically.
>>  The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.
>>  To this day,
>>  my sister has never let me forget.
>>
>>
>>  FOURTH TESTIMONY:
>>  While in line at the bank one afternoon,
>>  my toddler decided to release
>>  some pent-up energy and ran amok.
>>  I was finally able to grab hold of
>>  her after receiving looks of disgust
>>  and annoyance from other patrons.
>>  I told her that if she did not start behaving? right now" she would be
>>  punished.
>>  To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as
>>  threatening,
>>  "If you don't let me go right now,
>>  I will tell Grandma that I saw you
>>  kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!"
>>  The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.
>>  Even the tellers stopped what they were doing.
>>  I mustered up the last of my dignity and
>>  walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.
>>  The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of
>>  laughter.
>>
>>
>>  FIFTH TESTIMONY:
>>  Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?
>>  My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I
>>  was on him constantly.
>>  One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in between errands
>>  It was very busy, with a full dining room.
>>  While enjoying my taco,
>>  I smelled something funny,
>>  so of course I checked
>>  my seven-month-old daughter, she was clean.
>>  The realized that Danny
>>  had not asked to go potty in a while.
>>  I asked him if he needed to go,
>>  and he said "No".
>>  I kept thinking
>>  "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes
>>  with me." Then I said,
>>  "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?"
>>  "No," he replied.
>>  I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was
>>  getting worse.  Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny did you have an accident ? This
>>  time he jumped up, yanked down his pants,
>>  bent over, spread his cheeks
>>  and yelled
>>  "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"
>>  While 3 0 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing,
>>  he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.
>>  An old couple made me feel better,
>>  thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!
>>
>>
>>  LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:
>>  This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days
>>  and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will,
>>  in the future, likely think before she speaks.
>>  What happens when you predict snow but don't get any!
>>  We had a female news anchor that,
>>  the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't,
>>  turned to the weatherman and asked:
>>  "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"
>>  Not only did HE have to leave the set,
>>  but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!
>>
>>
>>  Now, didn't that feel good?
>>  Pass it on to someone you know who needs a laugh
>>  ! and remember
>>  we all say things we don't really mean,
>>  so think before you speak

:-[ :-[

[regic]

[chiquita]

"If you don't let me go right now,
>>  I will tell Grandma that I saw you
>>  kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!"

:blinkie:

[amy]

;D

[maryrussel]