A comparison of Jesus & Elvis

[sneakymagenta]

A comparison of Jesus & Elvis

JESUS is the Lord's shepherd.
ELVIS dated Cybill Shepherd.

JESUS was a carpenter.
ELVIS' favorite high school class was wood shop.

JESUS was part of the Trinity.
ELVIS' very first band was a trio.

JESUS' entourage, the Apostles, had 12 members.
ELVIS' entourage, the Memphis Mafia, had 12 members.

JESUS is a Capricorn. (December 25)
ELVIS is a Capricorn. (January 8)

JESUS was the lamb of God.
ELVIS had mutton chop sideburns.

JESUS was first and foremost the Son of God.
ELVIS first recorded with Sun Studios, performing what are till considered to be his foremost recordings.

JESUS' Father is everywhere.
ELVIS' father was a drifter, and moved around quite a bit.

JESUS said, "If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink." (John 7:37)
ELVIS said, "Drinks on me!" (Jailhouse Rock, MGM:1957)

JESUS fasted for 40 days and nights.
ELVIS had irregular eating habits. (eg: 5 banana splits for breakfast)

JESUS said: "Man shall not live by bread alone."
ELVIS liked his sandwiches with peanut butter and bananas.

Matthew was one of JESUS' many biographers. (The Gospel according to Matthew)
Neil Matthews was one of ELVIS' many biographers. (Elvis: A Golden Tribute)

"[JESUS'] countenance was like lightning, and his raiment white as snow." (Matthew 28:3)
ELVIS wore snow-white jumpsuits with lightning bolts.

JESUS said: "Love thy neighbor." (Matthew 22:39)
ELVIS said: "Don't be cruel." (RCA 1956)

JESUS walked on water. (Matthew 14:25)
ELVIS surfed on water. (Blue Hawaii, Paramount:1965)

Mary, an important woman in JESUS' life, had an Immaculate conception.
Priscilla, an important woman in ELVIS' life, attended Immaculate Conception High School.

JESUS H. CHRIST has 12 letters.
ELVIS PRESLEY has 12 letters.

No one knows what the "H" in "JESUS H. Christ" stood for.
No one was really sure if ELVIS' middle name was "Aron" or "Aaron".

JESUS wore a crown of thorns.
ELVIS wore Royal Crown hair styler.

JESUS had his famous Resurrection.
ELVIS had the famous 1968 "comeback" TV special.

JESUS lived in a state of grace, in a Near Eastern land.
ELVIS lived in Graceland, in a nearly eastern state.

[regic]

ign025:

[accentnepal]

I'm going to get in trouble for this...

Jesus died nailed to a cross and ascended to the White Throne.
Elvis died on a throne getting nailed on white crosses.