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Bad Jokes Atrium
Computer Skills
Computer Skills
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Computer Skills
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06-24-2006, 07:45 PM,
 Post: #1 |
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Computer Skills
This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills!
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ============== Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out. Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button? Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck. Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note. Customer: No, wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry.... =============== Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen. Customer: Your left or my left? =============== Tech support: Good day. How may I help you? Male customer: Hello... I can't print. Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and... Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates. =============== Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it... =============== Customer: I have problems printing in red... Tech support: Do you have a color printer? Customer: Aaaah...................thank you. =============== Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am? Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11. =============== Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore. Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer? Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer. Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back. Customer: OK Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you? Customer: Yes Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard? Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work... =============== Tech support: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7. Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters? == ============= Customer: Can't get on the Internet. Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password? Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it. Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was? Customer: Five stars. =============== Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use? Customer: Netscape. Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer. =============== Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears. =============== Tech support: How may I help you? Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail. Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem? Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it? =============== A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. Tech support: Are you running it under windows? Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine." =============== And last but not least... Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager." Customer: I don't have a P. Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob. Customer: What do you mean? Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob. Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT! |
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06-24-2006, 08:29 PM,
Post: #2 |
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Re: Computer Skills
;D
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06-24-2006, 11:45 PM,
Post: #3 |
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Re: Computer Skills
Quote:This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills! I could call eBay's technical support and I'm sure I'd feel much better about my computer skills by the time I get off the phone. :twistedevil:
"Well, Jay was so giddy that someone named Jay was involved with this site we posted our first non-eBay listing in 3 years here at Lunarbid (we tried two items at Yahoo once upon a time, they bombed)" -Marie posting in a LunarBid thread at OTWA in 2005 wins the award for 'most moronic reason ever given for choosing a venue"
"thanks twat u must have nothing better 2 do. do u talk to all your members like that. will not be recomending your site. best way to put it is TULIPTOOLS.COM IS REALLY SHIT. DONT JOIN." -pubescent owner of rinky dink off2auction.com in 2011 |
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06-25-2006, 05:37 AM,
Post: #4 |
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Re: Computer Skills
There was no mention of the build-in coffee cup holder on computers.
 so what on my monitor? a stuffed moose 
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06-26-2006, 03:41 AM,
Post: #5 |
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Re: Computer Skills
Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11. Funnnnnnny! |
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06-26-2006, 03:29 PM,
Post: #6 |
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Re: Computer Skills
I remember one years back where the tech. rep told the customer on the phone to pack up the computer and send it back to the manufacture because she was too stupid to won one.
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