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vitalfinds · (This post was last modified: 07-31-2006, 06:03 PM by vitalfinds.)

Ok, so it's a new day today. I'm still not crazy about Mr.O's comments, but I'll live.

I've gotten to wonder now about a few things, so I'm posting this (hopefully) out of curiosity rather than to start an argument, so here goes ... about PC4 ... and why I like and/or am more tolerant of that type of personality.

I have a sister who has been on a certain "kick" for several years now. In some ways, it's the anti-PC4. It's gotten to the point that you can't talk about the news with her, you can't mention ebay, I can't mention the name of my business, I can't talk about my hubby, I can't talk about my kids when they're getting themselves in trouble, and I can't talk about race, religion, sexual orientation, or politics. The reason for that is that she seems to be so focused on being politically correct (if that's even the right word), that once a person starts up or ends up in one of these areas, she simply "goes silent" for fear of offending someone.

The problem is that there ends up being no substance at all there, and all we're left to talk to her about is her, her hubby, her job, and her kid. I would so much prefer her to participate in a conversation about, let's just say my hubby, and let her get it off her chest. I know she can't stand him, but maybe if she just let me have it, then we might be done with it to some degree (at least with respect to the unspoken tension).

So I guess that with this example, my sister and PC4 are on opposite poles. Either extreme is not the desireable one, and I've had it out with PC4 a few times myself, but at least it seems to me now, based on some of the frustation I've had with my sister that I'd rather deal with the PC4 personality anyday than with the "passive agressive" behavior of my sister.

vitalfinds · 07-31-2006, 06:09 PM,

So now to contradict some of what I said above ... let's take Mr.O for an example. He knows that I usually have a really thick skin. In the example last night, my skin wasn't quite so thick, but I'd still rather have it that way then the way it is with my sister. So I like blunt and honest talk, I have a high tolerance for it and dish it out as well as take it, but there still will be some areas where -- at the very least, I think it's appropriate to express "discontent" with the blunt and honest talk offerred.

cranky_hippie · 07-31-2006, 06:48 PM,

Quote:Either extreme is not the desireable one, and I've had it out with PC4 a few times myself, but at least it seems to me now, based on some of the frustation I've had with my sister that I'd rather deal with the PC4 personality anyday than with the "passive agressive" behavior of my sister.

Laurie, this is none of my business but I've been known to poke my nose where it doesn't belong more than once Wink

so here goes:

I live with Mr. Passive-Agressive so I know what you are talking about there. He drives me nuts. But he never belittles me or calls me names or makes public comments about my intelligence (or lack thereof) or the size of my boobs or my a**. (XPP, no comments from you! Big Grin

)

So I guess, if I had a choice between the two personalities, I would choose my hubby's over PC4. PC4 has been extremely vicious to someone more than once. The bleeding heart liberal in me can't tolerate that. I suspect that Belle feels the same.

Quote:So I like blunt and honest talk, I have a high tolerance for it and dish it out as well as take it, but there still will be some areas where -- at the very least, I think it's appropriate to express "discontent" with the blunt and honest talk offerred.

Ditto!

BellisimaJ. · (This post was last modified: 07-31-2006, 07:17 PM by BellisimaJ..)

Quote:So I guess, if I had a choice between the two personalities, I would choose my hubby's over PC4. PC4 has been extremely vicious to someone more than once. The bleeding heart liberal in me can't tolerate that. I suspect that Belle feels the same.

Yes, Cranky, I do. I have no use for a person who intentionally hurts others for no cause. I find any defense of him at all to be outrageous and indefensible, Vital. There just isn't any excuse for it in my mind. Other than that, I have nothing against you. But I do feel that any defense of PC4 is a deal-breaker for me. He is simply an intrinsically bad person. Smile

Btw, you say you prefer blunt and honest talk. I do also, to a degree. But only to a degree. And using that to hurt someone who has not hurt you is wrong, IMO.Sometimes a little subtlety can be more conducive to good relationships.

cranky_hippie · 07-31-2006, 07:10 PM,

Belle, I'm thinking that Laurie has likely not seen PC4 at his nastiest.

BellisimaJ. · (This post was last modified: 07-31-2006, 07:28 PM by BellisimaJ..)

[quote author=cranky_hippie link=topic=4489.msg19179#msg19179 date=1154373050]
Belle, I'm thinking that Laurie has likely not seen PC4 at his nastiest.
[/quote]

She's been there when he was attacking me, Cranky.

Edited to add:
At least I think so. If I am wrong Vital, tell me. I know I discussed him with you. It wasn't a very pleasant conversation. It involved half the board, including Wlich, God help me, attacking all at once. Yikes, so glad when someone pulled that thread. :oops:

Btw, Vital, to add to his many quirky personality traits, he is also a peeping Tom. Tongue2

stardust · (This post was last modified: 07-31-2006, 11:31 PM by stardust.)

Vital, there's just a HUGE difference between having a *blunt and straight-forward* conversation/debate, and being a downright mean, rude, crass, and arrogant asp. PC4S (male or female) falls into the latter category and nowhere else. Just because you're thinking something does not mean it's right or appropriate to SAY it -- especially publicly. Deadly duels have been fought over inappropriate spoken words.

Every person has their own tolerance level for verbal abuse. According to your stories about your upbringing and relationships with family members, yours is very high. This allows you to 'explore' negative statements, like PC4S's sick comments, for something redeemable and of value. It also allows you to let verbal slights roll right off your shoulders -- which is good AND bad at the same time.

However, the other women on this board zipped it until they saw your initial *go to hell* gut reaction. That tells a lot right there about what your *true* tolerance and feelings really are as a person. Mr. O may have meant something entirely different from what he actually said, but he needs to learn to ditch his crass public demeanor that hurts or offends folks -- and he's hurt and offended you, the one person who will engage in creative discussions with him, many times.

In RL or boardie life, where most people get themselves in deep trouble is with their mouth -- as Mr. O has readily found out many times in the past on other boards, but never taken the hint to correct. Offending people by continually using foul language and intentional or unintentional public ridicule is NOT the way to gain respect...contrary to obvious opinion.
Tongue2

Bob and xpp excluded, of course.........

Edit for clarification: POTSHOTS directed AT Bob and xpp excluded, of course.....

BellisimaJ. · 07-31-2006, 07:51 PM,

Hey, that smiley was supposed to be clapping, darn it!! Well anyway, Stardust, very well said!! Smile

xppman · 07-31-2006, 10:29 PM,

Quote:Bob and xpp excluded, of course.........

misteroriginal · 07-31-2006, 10:49 PM,

[quote author=vitalfinds link=topic=4489.msg19175#msg19175 date=1154368862]
Ok, so it's a new day today. I'm still not crazy about Mr.O's comments, but I'll live.
[/quote]
I have no idea what I said that hurt your feelings, but that was never my intention at all yesterday. I think other people, more wicked than I, twisted it and turned it into that. I feel like apologizing is worse because it makes my sins appear intentional. If you (or anybody) would identify the specific faux pas, I think a more verbose explanation of what I was trying to say would make you feel better than an apology.

The thing that gets me is you never said you wouldn't send me the raw footage. I was just trying to get the project underway and brainstorm some crazy ideas. There are a lot of things that are just TV things that are "wrong" with your video but easy to fix. I was trying to point that out, so maybe that's where I trampled your feelings? The message was never "look how stupid this is." You said you weren't sure you wanted to send the video (I think, the thread's too long to re-read it), so I was trying to do a quick laundry list of the issues I planned to address. Everything was with the intention of maximizing the potential impact of your content without changing the message.