Cyberstalkers

[BellisimaJ.]

I would like to open a dialogue about cyber stalking, to include the following points:

1. Should the forum act to remove the stalker?
2. Should legal action be taken if the stalker refuses to cease and desist?
3. Should one IP address be allowed to post using more than one id on a forum?
4. What exactly separates the stalker from a person who simply does not like you, in terms of behavior?

[BellisimaJ.]

Types of stalkers:

Stalker types

Intimate partner: this stalker, the most common type, is a partner or more usually an ex-partner who can't and wont accept that a relationship has come to an end. They can't let go.

Vengeful stalker: this is the most dangerous type whose mission is to get even and/or take revenge. Mostly male, he has a grudge and he's going to do something about it. The vengeful stalker may never have met his victim, who may be a politician, council official, boss, organisation, etc.

Delusional stalker: this one has a history of mental illness which may include schizophrenia or manic depression. The schizophrenic stalker may have stopped taking his or her medication and now lives in a fantasy world composed of part reality and part delusion which he or she is unable to differentiate. If they're not careful, targets of the delusional stalker are likely to be sucked in to this fantasy world and start to have doubts about their own sanity, especially if the stalker is intelligent, and intermittently and seamlessly lucid and "normal".

Erotomaniac: this stalker is also delusional and mentally ill and believes he or she is in love with you and will have created an entire relationship in their head.

http://www.bullyonline.org/related/stalking.htm#Types

[BellisimaJ.]

Background to stalking and cyberstalking

The stalker exhibits a familiar pattern of behaviour. Stalking often starts as a result of rejection; rejection rage and abandonment rage motivate the stalker to seek revenge through a predictable pattern of stalking behavior. The stalker, usually a loner and socially inept, becomes obsessed with their target and bombards them with messages, emails, gifts, or abuse. The stalking behaviour can last for years and the intensity of abuse increases over time. The abuse, initially consisting of psychological violence, often escalates and culminates in physical violence.

A bully is a person who

    * has never learnt to accept responsibility for their behaviour
    * wants to enjoy the benefits of living in the adult world, but who is unable and unwilling to accept the responsibilities that are a prerequisite for being part of the adult world.
    * abdicates and denies responsibility for their behaviour and its consequences (abdication and denial are common features of bullying)
    * is unable and unwilling to recognise the effect of their behaviour on others
    * does not want to know of any other way of behaving
    * is unwilling to recognise that there could be better ways of behaving.

Bullying is obsessive and compulsive; the serial bully has to have someone to bully and appears to be unable to survive without a current target.

Bullying is present behind all forms of harassment, discrimination, prejudice, abuse, persecution, conflict and violence. When the bullying has a focus (eg race or gender) it is expressed as racial prejudice or harassment, or sexual discrimination and harassment, and so on. When the bullying lacks a focus (or the bully is aware of the Sex Discrimination Act or the Race Relations Act), it comes out as pure bullying; this is an opportunity to understand the behaviours which underlie almost all reprehensible behavior. I believe bullying is the single most important social issue of today.

Cyber bullying is the misuse of email systems or Internet forums etc for sending aggressive flame mails. Serial bullies have few communication skills (and often none), thus the impersonal nature of email makes it an ideal tool for causing conflict. Sometimes called cyberstalking.

1) How do bullies select their targets?

The bully selects their target using the following criteria:

    * bullies are predatory and opportunistic - you just happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time; this is always the main reason - investigation will reveal a string of predecessors, and you will have a string of successors
    * being good at your job, often excelling
    * being popular with people (colleagues, customers, clients, pupils, parents, patients, etc)
    * more than anything else, the bully fears exposure of his/her inadequacy and incompetence; your presence, popularity and competence unknowingly and unwittingly fuel that fear
    * being the expert and the person to whom others come for advice, either personal or professional (ie you get more attention than the bully)
    * having a well-defined set of values which you are unwilling to compromise
    * having a strong sense of integrity (bullies despise integrity, for they have none, and seem compelled to destroy anyone who has integrity)
    * having at least one vulnerability that can be exploited
    * being too old or too expensive (usually both)
    * refusing to join an established clique
    * showing independence of thought or deed

[mandy]

[color=blue]ADMIN NOTE: off-topic interpersonal dispute split into separate topic
http://community.tuliptools.com/index.ph...989.0.html

[BellisimaJ.]

Linking to a current topic that is related.


http://community.tuliptools.com/index.ph...l#msg34081