Funny Signs

[chiquita]

FUNNY SIGNS

An ad on the subway in NYC: "Learn to read and speak English. Call us now."

An Amelia Island, FL, podiatrist: "Emergency Foot Surgery- Walk-ins Welcomed."

Sign over a restroom in a restaurant: "Used beer department."

On a store front in Florida: "Your one stop shop! Beer ammo and liquor. Drive through open 24 hours!"

A speed limit sign on Long Beach Island, New Jersey: "Smile, You're on Radar!"

Seen in a State Park in California: "Weather Station (A large sign with a Rock hanging on a rope) Check the Rock. If it's wet, it's raining. If it's moving, it's windy. If you can't see it, it's foggy. If rock is gone, it's a tornado."

Sign in a non-smoking area: "If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

Sign on the door of the maternity ward: "Push Push Push."

Sign on a front door: "Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog."

Sign in a taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."

In a Pennsylvania cemetery: "Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves."

On a Tennessee highway: "When this sign is under water, this road is impassable."

Sign on a door to a psychiatric ward: "Please do not disturb further."

Sign in a cafeteria: "Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. In pencil beneath the sign: Socks can eat anyplace they want."

Billboard facing the road in front of a funeral home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait."

Found written on the wall in front of a photocopier of a company going through hardships : " DOUBLE YOUR PLEASURE - XEROX YOUR PAYCHECKS "

At an Applebee's restaraunt: "NOTICE: AFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY! A new 6% tax will be charged for the cost of collecting taxes!"

On the freeway in Boston during a MAJOR transformation of the streets and bridges, etc: "Rome wasn't built in a day. If it was we would have hired their contractor."

Fitness Center sign: "Self Esteem is feeling good about yourself - regardless of the facts."

In restaurant: "Open seven days a week and weekends."

[maryrussel]

They're all funny but this one really cracked me up.

Sign in a cafeteria: "Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. In pencil beneath the sign: Socks can eat anyplace they want."

[thentavius]

I remember seeing a banner over a drycleaner that had been professionally printed.

It offered: dry cleaning, pressing, and altercations.


If you're looking for a good fight...





There's also a funny sign in Downtown San Francisco. It's the freeway sign for the "A Street" exit. It reads: "A Street Downtown" with an arrow pointing to the exit.

[maggie777]

;D

[sneakymagenta]

Sign over a restroom in a restaurant: "Used beer department."

[stardust]

Sign on the door of the maternity ward: "Push Push Push."

Cute.